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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26091178">A Meeting at the County Fair</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowSprite/pseuds/ShadowSprite'>ShadowSprite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempt at Humor, Gen, Ineffable Wives | Female Aziraphale/Female Crowley (Good Omens), Magician Aziraphale (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:20:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>941</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26091178</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowSprite/pseuds/ShadowSprite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the year 1900, Crowley and Aziraphale meet in America. Crowley's working as a snake oil saleswoman, and Aziraphale is trying her hand at magicianship.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale &amp; Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Meeting at the County Fair</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I mostly wrote this because I thought the idea of Crowley begin a snake oil salesman was very funny. I did about ten minutes of research for this, so it might not be 100% historically accurate, but I did my best.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale walked into the county fair, looking around delightedly at the chaos all around her. At first, she hadn’t been pleased when she had been given an assignment for a blessing in America, but Crowley hadn’t been in contact for a few decades, so she didn’t have the choice to ask if the demon would be willing to take on this particular assignment. However, she had decided to make her trip here as fun as she could under the circumstances. She adjusted her bag to fit more comfortably on her shoulder and continued to walk into the fair.</p><p>As she walked, she saw men riding horses, children driving small herds of pigs, and many vendors hawking their wares. She heard a familiar voice among the crowd, and turned toward it.</p><p>“Authentic snake oil, right here, folks! Cures aches, pains, inflammation! All yours for a miraculously great deal!” Crowley was in her element, fast talking a bunch of humans, and enjoying every second of it. She scanned the crowd and spotted Aziraphale. “How about you, miss? My medicine can cure all that ails you! That’s a guarantee!”</p><p>Aziraphale approached the demon’s stand. “Will it really?” She asked, eyebrow arched.</p><p>Crowley lowered her voice. “Course it will, angel. Would I lie to you? Um, anyway, wasn’t expecting to see you in America. Got a pretty comfy wagon with some decent alcohol if you want to, ah, catch up, compare notes.”</p><p>“That would be lovely! However, I have a few things to take care of first, rooms to procure, appearances to arrange, that sort of thing.” Aziraphale gestured toward the fair around them. “I’ll be happy to meet you back here in a few hours.”</p><p>“Sounds good to me, angel,” Crowley replied, then watched as the angel walked away.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>-----------------------------------------</p>
</div><p>“So, what exactly is your ‘snake oil’ made from?” Aziraphale asked, pouring herself another glass of whiskey.</p><p>“Straight from the source!” Crowley proudly proclaimed.</p><p>Aziraphale turned toward the demon and raised an eyebrow, “Really, my dear.”</p><p>Crowley furrowed her brows. “What do you… wait. No! I mean I stopped in China before heading this way, bought some actual snake oil from the vendors there. I’m not extracting my own… eurgh.”</p><p>Aziraphale brightened. “You mean to tell me that you are selling actual medicine. How wonderful!”</p><p>“It’s completely demonic is what it is.” Crowley smirked. “You see, if people buy my snake oil and see that it actually works on inflammation and such, they’ll be more likely to believe that shite that those other people, like, wot’s his name. Stanford? No. Stanley! They’ll think that shite that Stanley’s selling might actually work as well. People are going to throw their money away on utter tripe! S’ completely demonic!”</p><p>Aziraphale continued beaming toward Crowley. “Of course, my dear girl.”</p><p>Crowley sighed, deciding that convincing the angel wouldn’t be worth the effort. “It is a bit funny though. Humans buying fake medicine just because of some flashy advert, or a dazzling show at a carnival. I mean, how long do you think these salesmen can keep this up? Most of them don’t even use snake oil, and almost none of it actually works!”</p><p>“I’m sure this is all just another American fad that will fizzle out in a few years.” Aziraphale reassured.</p><p>Crowley smiled “Yeah, probably. So, angel, why don’t you tell me what you’re doing here at the lovely, glorious county fair!”</p><p>“Well, I have been travelling around the region under the guise of a travelling stage magician The magnificent A.Z. Fell!”</p><p>“What.” Crowley stared.</p><p>Aziraphale explained. “Well, you see, after you left after our… disagreement, I decided to try to find a new hobby. So, back in the 1870’s I attended several courses run by John Maskelyne, and learned the art of stage magic! I’ve become quite good at sleight of hand, if I do say so myself. My show doesn’t have the impressive setup of the larger theater, with those delightful mirrors and smoke, but it is very fun all the same.”</p><p>“Well this I have to see.” Crowley drawled, looking at Aziraphale expectantly.</p><p>“Well, then, you will simply have to come to my show tomorrow.” Aziraphale said. “I won’t be giving you any previews tonight.” She looked at her pocket watch. “Oh, it is getting rather late though, and I want to get some practice in tonight. I ought to sober up and head to my rooms. Good night, Crowley.”</p><p>“Good night, angel.” Crowley smiled as the angel turned her back and ducked out of the wagon.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>-----------------------------------------</p>
</div><p>There were very few things that could render Crowley speechless. She prided herself on her ability to spout enough bullshit to get herself out of any situation. But right now, all words were lost to her. Aziraphale stood in front of her, expectantly waiting for the demon’s reaction to her performance, and Crowley needed to come up with something quickly.</p><p>“Um... Er. Well! Ngk. That was… sure something, angel.”</p><p>“It was, wasn’t it?” Aziraphale smiled. “That audience was so in awe that they didn’t even have it in them to applaud! Just overwhelmed by my performance, I presume. Oh, it was such fun!”</p><p>Crowley allowed herself a small smile back at the angel. “At least you’re having fun. Maybe later I can give you some tips on working an audience. You know, to make your show, ah, even better. Than how good it already is. Yup.”</p><p>“That sounds delightful!” Aziraphale leaned toward Crowley and lowered her voice. “After all, it’s very important to learn the techniques of the enemy intimately, don’t you agree?”</p><p>“Of course, angel” Crowley smiled, and they walked off into the fair together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!</p><p>Aziraphale knows that her show is not very good, she's just seeing how long Crowley will humor her. Crowley's definitely over it by time they get to the apocalypse. </p><p>So, it turns out that Chinese water snakes have fat that’s rich in omega-3 acids, which can be useful for treating arthritis. Chinese immigrants brought snake oil with them to America, then white Americans started selling counterfeit versions. Snakes commonly found in America, like rattlesnakes, are much less rich in essential acids than Chinese water snakes, and many things labeled as snake oil didn’t use any ingredients from snakes.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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